Welcome
by caligulasCatnip
Summary: Nepeta wasn't stupid... After all, she was the one with the shipping wall. So she could see when her love was unrequited, and when she was unwanted. Eridan looked happy with Sollux. What favour would she do to all her "friends"? Perhaps they'd be happier without a cat-girl pestering them... She could slowly fade away. Catfish (EriNep) and JohnKat, rated T for violence and language.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: Hello! The name's Madelaine, and this is my first official fanfiction. I realise that it irks some of you to no avail to type with quirks in dialogue, but Eridan's had me between a rock and a hard place. The w-word hyphenating just wasn't working for me, so I'm apologising in advance. Some feedback of all kinds would really be appreciated! I have a lot of this stored away, but if you guys like it, then I'll definitely keep posting! :33 Thanks for taking the time to read!_

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Welcome

Nepeta woke up in a cold sweat... Again? She wasn't quite positive which was worse, having such abhorrant dreams or waking up to a harsher reality. She cringed and curled up as small as she possibly could, as she reminisced the good times she had experienced before now, and her eyes fell somewhat downcast at the realisation that, well, they seemed so far away. They were so hopelessly far from where she was now... She had dreamed it all, of her friends' deaths, of her being rejected by everyone (although she wasn't sure how unrealistic that one was), she had dreamed about being defenseless against a great multitude of things coming to rip away her friends and what little happiness she had... And this time it had been the worst. She had again seen her faithful moirail, but his usual warm gaze had been chilled towards her as he fought heroically against an appalling creature that was attacking... Aradia. Her screams and cries were futile, as were her defensive maneuvers, as the monster quite visibly, painfully, and physically ripping her to shreds, although once on the inside already finding a heart that had been shattered far before any plague like this had surfaced. Nepeta once again had awoken in tears, although she had to admit she was glad no scream had escaped her troubled lips...

She had been thinking about how little she had recognised she meant to everyone, how insignificant her role was in all of their lives. As it was, Nepeta was hardly able to earn a second glance from most of her friends in recent weeks... months... And each politely, or not-so-politely, denied request had felt like a knife in her chest, a feeling which frankly she had been yearning for for quite some time now. She searched somewhat frantically for a clock, to check what time it was. 4:27 am, no one could possibly be awake. As she sat up from the couch and began to move towards the stairs, she felt how painful even moving was, feeling like she was a creaking old machine just waiting to be put out of its endless agony. She stared forlornly up the stairwell, considering her possibilities with an aching head and a throbbing heart.

Trudging up them slowly, she hung a left on the top floor into the empty room she reluctantly called her own. No sign of John, Karkat or Eridan, which was exactly what she needed... Her breathing began to shallow as she lifted her line of sight painfully to the window. She almost grief-strickenly swaggered over to it, and stared far, far down to the ground below. "Nepeta," she thought, "you can't be serious..." even though her subconscious was just as sorrow-drowned as her external impulses. She could feel herself, every fiber of her being, quaking nervously as she considered.

Thinking of all the terrible things she had been a part of, all the sadness she had unwillingly, and occasionally willingly, caused, she leaned up against the windowpane, staring with empty and inanimate eyes down to the ground that beckoned her. What good was she, really, to everyone...? She heavily took into consideration all of the good things in her life, as fickle as her heart was trying to filter through the bad to find them, and she felt guilty and puzzled... Were there really that many? Who loved her, really? Equius...? Well, she was even unsure of her loyal moirail as of late, and she was sure confronting him would only end in tragedy for the both of them... Eridan...? Well, she cringed as she thought of his wonderful smile... when he was around her good friend the gemini. "Whatever you do," she thought, "leave him happy... He deserves to finally be happy." as he stood for what seemed like hours and mused, she finally decided that the bad far, far outweighed the good...

Her short and choppy breaths grew more and more struggled as she reached out with a shaky hand and unlocked the window... After scrawling out a simple and shaky ":33 you're welcome..." on a piece of paper, she stood once again facing her ultimate fate. She, with a heavy heart, (but not for long), climbed up onto the windowsill, her arms outstretched.

Nepeta had never felt so empty... So excited, so terrified, so lonely, so relieved... As she stood there, tears brimming on her delicate lashes and streaming down her once life-filled face, she wondered to herself about any regrets she had. There were obviously things that she had wanted to experience, happy memories that flooded out in rememberance in the form of tears... But she knew that it wouldn't matter at all in... in...  
"You won't be able to cause anyone any more regret... very soon."

She didn't know what she wanted to do, step off, step back in, end it all, try desperately to fix anything, but if there was one thing Equius had ever taught her... It was to be strong. She inched ever closer to the edge that spelled her demise, and she tipped herself gracefully off.

But the milisecond she did, she turned frantic. She was falling. Nepeta was going to die. She started hyperventilating, sobbing and reaching up towards the window hopelessly. "no... No no no no NO!" she could even see some of the green tears floating in droplets above her, as she thought of how there would be all kinds of tears shed... Wouldn't there? Indigo, red, or... Violet... "I-I'm so sorry." she whispered right as the impact occurred.

Lying there, fractured, feeling like she had landed on shards of glass, she could see the green spilling around her, as she stared for the last time at the place she called home. She felt relieved, perhaps she could comfort her friends as a soft whisper of a breeze, in memories, somehow... She smiled, thinking of everything and everyone she loved, as it all faded to black.


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, thanks for all the reviews and such! This really means a lot, and I hope you enjoy the next installment :)_

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"Wh-what was..."  
John Egbert rose up suddenly in his bed, thinking he had heard a scream, an eerily familiar one at that.  
"stupid... It must've just been in your imagination! It wa-"  
He stopped and his blood ran cold as his thought was interrupted by a thud coming from outside his window. He slipped on some shoes and a robe as he bolted out his bedroom door and into the living room.  
"Nep! Neppy, did you hear that?! There was a... Nep?"

The couch was bare, emptied of the innocent cat-troll it had cradled earlier... John bolted up the stairs and over to her room, assuring himself that she would be there, all curled up and smiling as she usually was, his breath catching a little when he opened the door to find nothing but the chilling reality of an empty bed and an open window. "Nep... Nepeta, no..." he thought, as his thoughts went racing through all the possibilities of her being alright, albeit they were few. Something caught his eye, a small piece of paper with some chicken scratch that somewhat resembled writing...

":33 you're welcome."

The small cursive words jolted through him like an electric shock. This couldn't be happening... He practically flung himself over to the window, looking down. What he saw was his worst nightmare. There, in an unnatural and haunting pool of green blood, was Nepeta, laying lifelessly in the grass, looking terrifyingly peaceful. John had to hold himself back, he felt like diving after her, reassuring himself that she just had to be okay... She had to.

"ERIDAN...!"  
John tripped down the hallway to the seadweller's room, his tears blurring his vision. "E-Eridan, it's..."  
"wwhat the FUCK could you possibly wwant at fivve AM, you lowwblooded neanderthol...?"  
Eridan's eyes hurt, having just woken up. He couldn't see straight without his glasses, and his head was throbbing, wondering what John could want at such an obscene hour. But after groping for his eyewear for a while, his vision cleared and he saw John standing there, hysterical and desperate-looking, tear-stained to boot.  
"John, wwhat's wwrong...?"

"E-Erid... It's n-nep, she... She..."

His eyes widened. "John, look at me." he stood up tall and grabbed the human by the shoulders, inquiring, "Wwhat happened to Nep. TELL ME she's okay."

John was having trouble breathing, let alone getting comprehensible words out. He let out another desperate sob and dragged Eridan out of the room and to the back door. He froze at that point, however. He didn't want to see what he was going to see. He desperately hoped, yearned from the depth of his heart that he was wrong. "Let me be dreaming, let me be dreaming, Neppy is okay... You're dreaming, you're dreaming."

Ignoring the human that seemed to be falling to pieces beside him, Eridan began striding out into the yard, searching for whatever was plaguing John. If something was wrong with Nep, he wanted to be the first to know. She was just so... fragile? No, she's anything but fra-

"O-oh my cod... I..."

His eyes locked onto the worst sight he had ever encountered. Hesitantly, he slowly walked up to where she lay, frantically trying to convince himself that she was just playing... Playing, like she always had wanted him to do, and he was too embarrassed.  
"Come on, Nep..."  
With eyes still wide, the bitter tears fell, each feeling like a blade of betrayal slicing his cheeks.  
"It's... It's t-time to get up, Nep... Stop playing around, s-silly..."  
Eridan dropped to his knees. Maybe he just had to get a closer look, he wouldn't let himself believe Nepeta was... was... He shuddered at both the thought of her being "dead", and at the sickening feeling of the warm blood pooling around his legs.

The guilt panged him stronger than any he had faced before. He began to think of all the times she had skipped up to him, "Ampurra~! Do you wanna roleplay with me?" with that impossibly large and contagious grin, and he remembered the blush that would always spread across his face as he declined... "I wwouldn't be any fun, wwhy wwould she need me?" he tormented himself mentally every time she pleaded with him, and now he sobbed over her body as he wished he could've shared those wonderful times with her after all. The purple stained his glasses as he stared with bleary eyes down at the girl he... Loved? He lifted her gently into his arms, as if he would disturb her peaceful sleep, and lowered his head onto hers, just sobbing. He kissed her forehead, the green blood attatching them in a horrifying, dsticky bond.  
"I'm sorry... I-I'm so sorry. I'm sorry..."

John stared straight ahead as the reality sank in. Neppy was gone... His entire body had gone numb in shock, he couldn't even feel as the tears were falling from his draining eyes. Up the stairs he stumbled, back through the house into Karkat's room. He slithered into his bed, shaking like a nervous child.  
"E-EGBERT...? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"shut up."  
John weakly cried into Karkat's shoulder until the mutantblood sat up, somewhat alarmed. He awkwardly placed a consoling hand on John's head, beginning to stroke his hair. He had never seen John upset like this, let alone crying. He always had that idiotic smile on his face, and he was scared when he noticed it had vanished, a look of pure, unadulterated horror replacing it.

"JOHN... ARE YOU CRYING...?"  
He sighed at the smoothness his comment entailed, but John just looked up at him, his face drenched, with a look that only read "Help me..." Karkat took the quaking boy in his arms, comforting him to the best of his ability. John's arms snaked back around him, clinging to him as if letting go meant losing him forever, as he managed to squeak, "N-nepeta..." Karkat just went stiff, pulling John back to look in his almost lifeless eyes. "WHAT ABOUT NEPETA. JOHN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED...?"

With his arm around John, afraid he would collapse otherwise, Karkat made his way outside, his stomach sinking in dread and disbelief at what he was seeing. Eridan sat, wailing loudly, clutching Nepeta's... lifeless body close to him, muttering an unheard apology over and over. Karkat gasped and pulled John close again, desperately finding something other than the tragic massacre to stare at.  
"JOHN... WHY WOULD SHE-"  
"I don't know, Karkat! I don't fucking know! She's the one who jumped out a window, for God's sake! But... But we have to do something..."

"Neppy...? No, oh god please no..."  
"I'm sorry.. I-I'm so sorry..."  
"BUT WHY...?"


	3. Chapter 3

_I know, I know. Short chapter. But I just really like this one tiny section, it felt like it needed its own spotlight. And I figure I should explain the obscure scenario of the story. My friends and I have a roleplay group, in which we have a silly setting of the trolls and humans we rp all living together in a house x3 One day, I was really depressed, so I let my feelings out in my writing... .et voila, the first chapter of "Welcome". They said I should continue it, so I am. And thank you sooo much for all the support! I love my followers and every random reader who gives me their time 3 so a quick thank you to all of you! -Madelaine_

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The swirling sounds and pain of even the simplest motions roughly shook Nepeta from what she thought was her death. She heard her friends, the crying and guilt, apologies... And... Was Eridan holding her? Her head was pulsing and throbbing at an intense rate, she felt like if she were to even breathe, she would burst.  
"what have I done...? I... Oh my gog this is pawful..."

She couldn't open her eyes, she couldn't move, she couldn't cry, scream, even speak... She could only sit in a writhing agony of sharp pains and even sharper emotional pains, thinking of what an idiot she was. What a selfish thing she had done, she realised. She wanted to merely sit up, hug Ampurra back, and tell him that everything would be okay... To restore John's ridiculous smile, to stare the heartbroken Karkitty in the face and tell him that he was not at fault in any way. But she was forced to wallow in her own misery, in the pain and blackness of death, or at least the far reaches of life.

The only thing she could manage to do was have her heart beat. A rythmic beacon of hope, if only he could hear it against his sobs and apologies... She felt so terrible, knowing he really did care about her... Almost no one could crack Eridan's usual façade, let alone bring him to his knees, sobbing hysterically. For a moment she merely reveled in his gentle touch, no matter how riddled with heartbreak it may have been. She almost felt like she was smiling... Against all odds, she let out a small, weak, almost unhearable cry, hoping with her entire heart that he would hear the multitude of hidden words it held.

For Eridan, it seemed the world had frozen, time had stopped. His heart had been broken for reasons he wouldn'tve given a second thought to before now, and this was the most devastating and hopeless situation he had ever encountered. His heart ached when he thought about any ways he could've prevented it from happening, and how he was wishing he could turn back the clock... He managed to stop his crying, even though he was shaking beyond belief at all his swirling thoughts. He held Nepeta close, his head resting on her broken body, wishing there was a way for her to see him... The way he truly was, in regards to her at least...

"wwoww... you're so desperate you're evven imaginin her heart's still pumpin. Idiot."

But... Was he imagining? He held her closer and tighter, listening for the beat not only sustaining her life, but his as well. He could hear it. Weak, sounding as if it had come from a shattered heart like his own, but it was there, which meant she was still fighting. Eridan was just about to scream for the others to come when he heard a faint cry escape her colour-drained lips. He stared down at Nepeta in disbelief, feeling her pain inside of him as he saw her eyes cringe in what must be unimaginable pain...

"Nep...? Oh cod, Nep, can you hear me?"  
He cupped her face in his hand, pulling a few strands of her matted hair out of her face. "nep look at me please... If you can, i wwant to knoww youre alivve... I need to knoww." A small stream of violet tears dripped down onto Nepeta's face as she slowly cracked one of her eyes open, only to see Eridan's idiotically hopeful smile and feel his embrace.


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry for the wait! homecoming festivities and whatnot... so, to make up for it, a longer chapter? I am so grateful for all the love my story's getting, thank you so much ^7^_

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Right as Karkat was trying to console John, mentally debating what he was supposed to say as comfort in a situation like this, John reached up and put a finger over Karkat's lips.  
"Wait... Do you hear Eridan...?"  
Karkat whipped his head around to turn to the seadweller, seeing him still holding a lifeless Nep... Or, was he? He could hear a faint, "Oh thank cod, Nep I'm so sorry. But you wwill be okay soon, I promise." Cautiously, to make sure Eridan wasn't just so depressed he was delusional, he walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder... But he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Nep's eyes were open, and she was almost... smiling.

"NEPETA! OH MY GOG WE WERE SO WORRIED... CAN... CAN YOU EVEN SPEAK...?"

"howw wwould she be able to speak after such a... hard impact...?"

Karkat wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or factual, but either way he looked him in the face, saying, "AMPORA, AS NICE AS YOUR AFFECTIONS... ARE... NEPETA ISN'T GOING TO HEAL WITH JUST LOVE. CAN YOU CARRY HER INSIDE?"

Eridan nodded concisely and gently coaxed his arms under his broken girl, lifting her into his grasp, her head lolling onto his chest. She looked and felt so small, but her impact on everyone's lives at the moment was utterly cataclysmic. He walked so slowly and carefully it was as if they were floating back into the house, as he did not want to perturb any chance of recovery she had, not in the slightest. As the others watched in reverence, they couldn't help but be a bit humbled... they had never seen this protective and compassionate side of Eridan before, and they were heartened by the glimmer of hope he was unknowingly providing for them. Could Nepeta really mean so much to him?

"John, Karkat, get some first aid... Wwe havve to tend to her wwounds, and," he cringed at the very prospect of reality, "they're vvery searious."

The fact that Nepeta was coming to was in and of itself fantastic, but now that she was, every part of her seemingly atrophying body was throbbing. She could feel the agony pulsating throughout each inch of her being, and she couldn't help but cry convulsively, whimpering as best she could... She couldn't tell where it did and didn't hurt, what she had broken, anything... All she knew was she was encompassingly miserable. At least Eridan was being gentle with her, right? She could feel his timid movements, attempting to not disrupt her, and for that she was forever grateful.

Ripping himself apart inside with every struggled cry Nepeta exuded, Eridan finally made it to the couch without doubling over with guilt. He sat with his back to the corner of the couch, leaning back and depositing her delicately between his legs, resting her back on his stomach. She groaned a little, but after a while it seemed she was in as little pain as possible.

"OKAY, WE HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM," worried a pacing Karkat, "LOOK AT HER. SHE NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION... BUT IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, WE'RE ON EARTH. WHO'S GONNA KNOW HOW TO FIX AN ALTERNIAN?"

"...how are we possibly gonna fix neppy...?"

"i dont knoww... Isn't there any wway to treat broken bones wwithout a doctor?"

John sat and thought for a minute before chiming in, "We'll need to set the fractures..."

Eridan tightened his grip on Nepeta almost protectively as he heard those words. His smile of having her alive and in his arms quickly morphed into a grimace, which was partly due to the pained sigh that she let out. Why can't this nightmare just end yet? The last thing he wanted to see was her in any more pain, and he knew that was precisely what she was about to have to confront... In this state, he wondered, how will she even be able to bear it?

Barely above a ghostly whisper, as if the breeze were sending a message, she finally spoke. It seemed the world fell silent at her words... The fact that she was speaking at all felt predominantly phantasmagorical. How could it be real...? Weakly she asked, "will that h-hurt...?" Immediately she could feel the bittersweet grin spread across John's face, the concern on Karkat's, and Eridan's arms bind even more snugly against her, and what she hoped were the final sobs escaping his usually nonchalant expression... She wanted to sit up strong and gaze straight into his deep eyes, imploring him not to cry anymore. She hated seeing... hearing him cry, especially because she felt a pang of guilt, she knew it was all her fault. But any words at all were a humongously optimistic start, as she knew the familiar happiness eminating from betwixt his sobs. He was just as relieved as she was.

"Wwait. I... I havve an idea." he glanced down at the exhausted girl resting on him, pulling her hair back with his hand and stroking her facial features sympathetically. "Nep. Wwould you be alright wwith sol setting the fractures for you? And y-yes, it probably will be painful. But Nep, look at me. You'vve been strong for me so far, and I need you to be bravve for just a little longer... Alright?" she smiled up at him as best as she could muster, promising him that she would. Anything to recapture the peace he had before... Hopefully even better.


	5. Chapter 5

_Alright, if any of you are REMOTELY even EriSol shippers, get out. I'm kidding, of course, but there's definitely a little pinch of kismesis magic in this chapter, if you're into that kind of thing... Thanks again sooo much for the kind words and encouragement! I'm still writing this, so thanks for being patient with my irregular posts and whatnot 333 hehe, typing in a lisp looks funny, sorry if it's hard to take Sol seriously ^^; i love you all, okay? Okay._

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Of course it had been difficult to explain to Sollux just what had happened, but Karkat managed to maneuver it to where he understood and came as quickly as he possibly could. As he stood there over her, who had been moved onto a couch by herself, he just felt... wrong. Nepeta was the one who always brought the rest of them hope... She was the bright one, the cheerful and effervescent girl who could make anyone smile. Seeing her so broken, so absolutely destitute of all health and happiness... He swallowed hard as he uncomfortably realised that it felt as if all hope had been lost. He sat next to her and clumsily put a hand on top of hers, trying his best to twist his mouth into a smile, however convincing it failed to be. "I... I thure hope you're holding up okay..." her gaze was downcast, they all could tell she was feeling nervous and could only offer half of a smile in comparison to a normal smile, but a mere fraction if compared to one of her own.

Everyone had thought it the best for Eridan to wait in the other room whilst Nepeta's painful recuperation took place. He wandered deadly up the stairs and found himself, curiously, in her room. He sat on her bed, staring his dejected self in the mirror. He looked strung out and rather disheveled, his face blotchy and discoloured by an unnatural amount of violet tears that had been unwillingly spilled. The only word to describe his eyes was empty... Void of all life and hope, even sadness, just extreme exhaustion left, a sense of wanting it all to just end. Feeling lightheaded, he layed down, curling up somewhat and mentally nagging himself. "Just look at yourself. You look horrific, meanwhile she's downstairs bravely gritting her teeth for what's necessary... You're so squeamish you come up and hide in her bedroom? You're acting like a defenseless wriggler when she needs you to be strong for her." the excruciating thoughts were eating him alive, he beginning to feel wracked with guilt, when he turned over and saw the piece of paper she had scrawled her goodbye on. "Y-you're wwelcome...?" he mumbled to himself, feeling even more unbearably responsible for what was happening. He folded the note up and stuck it in his pocket, beginning to muse upon his possibilities again until his whole anatomy was rattled by a shrill and cataclysmically vexated scream that pierced the air.

Nepeta was caught off guard by the insufferable pain that consumed her within an instant. Her ghastly screams ricocheted off of the walls, burning the ears of every person in the house. Cracking sensations were being jolted through her body, she couldn't help but shriek in agony... It felt as if she were going to fall to shreds any second. Slivers of vision were all she could muster at the moment, seeing only a glimpse of Sollux's sympathetic face as he fixed her. Fixing...? It felt like he was merely disfiguring her even more... Nepeta could feel her whole body trembling insatiably, the tangible feeling of her internal structure being jerked about was a terrifying notion to her, and the only thought running through her mind was one of regret for everything she had done.

"S-stop it!"

Palpable confusion and chilling silence filled the air as Sollux dropped his hands in shock and guilt-ridden despair, turning to stare at John. "I... I don't think you underthtand thith." He sharply pointed himself towards the boy, yet was unable to make eye contact. "would you rather that nep die...? Becauthe THATTH WHATTH COMING." He was shaking, John taken aback by the outburst. He hadn't even taken into consideration the lingering guilt Sollux would have to live with for this "favour" he was doing... He was the one hurting Nep. It was necessary, but as they both gazed at the semi-conscious girl, they both oddly felt obligated to cringe in sharing her pain. "I'm sorry, Sol... She just-"John was stopped mid-phrase, as the glance he received from a golden-stained face finished the sentence for him. Over to the sofa he went, laying a hand on Nep's and gently encouraging her, "Neppy...? It's almost over. And y-you know, I don't think I could ever be as brave a person as you." Stiffly, he arose and took his place back in Karkat's arms. Karkat had been silent the whole time, a real sign of his deepest thought. John nuzzled into his neck, as if to tell him that no matter what he was mulling over it would all be better soon... and a reassuring grey hand found its way into the boy's hair as they watched the surreality unfold.

"NEP! I-"

The instant the scream had finished shooting through him and had left a sharp pang in his core; the second what was happening registered in his mind, Eridan began tumbling downstairs to where she was. He froze in his tracks upon hearing John's plea, taking a hiding place around the corner. Listening carefully to every word said, his impatience grew as fast as Sollux's unprecedented rage at John... "Just calm dowwn. He's just as shaken by this as wwe are..." Trying to coax himself into simmering down, he told himself that Nep was almost okay... But the lowblood's words stung as they ran through his head repeatedly. 'Would you rather that nep die...? Becauthe THATTH WHATTH COMING.' It always seemed death was writhing its way into the parts of his life that he truly treasured, whether or not he realised it immediately... and while John and Sollux were reconciling, Eridan's rage only grew, unaware of the solution that they had come to. Striding slowly towards the others, with a vengeful snarl making up his countenance, he spat, "So it wwas useless anywways, wwasn't it Sol?"

"Couldn't you jutht give me one minute to fikth another problem of yourth, E-" before he could finish, a metal-wracked hook to the jaw had knocked him clear across the room. Towering over him now was Eridan, no usual sense of sarcasm, desperation, humour, an amusing vocal quirk, none of it. Now, it was just pure unadulterated hatred, radiating from within him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean, you filthy lowblood...? "My problem"?!" Another blow from the seadweller, this time of a swift kick to the gut, had him hunched over on the floor. Slowly he shifted his disdainful gaze to the fiery violet one above him, scowling as he murmured, "It wath probably thome idiotic thing you did that cauthed her to do thith... You're tho impothibly inthenthitive, thelf-thentered, and completely-"

"ST-STOP IT... R-RIGHT... now..."

Her breaths laborious and drawn out, still having trouble even maintaining consciousness, Nepeta screamed out at them... Their fighting over her misery-drowned stupidity abused her more than her fractures ever could. She watched hazily as both of them froze and turned to look at her, seeing John and Karkat already tending to her aches and needs... Eridan must've seen the heartbrokenness inside her tired eyes, as he looked down at the floor ashamedly. He stared from her down to his innocent victim, feeling like a completely egocentric and heartless maniac... The only thing Sollux was offering to them all, especially he and Nep, was help, and hope for the future. Extending his hand down to Sol, he tried to hide his shameful demeanor, on the verge of tears. "Insensitivve, is it...? Wwell, I guess you're right. Just look at her." He nodded towards the girl he knew now he had assisted in shattering, wandering towards the door, his own life feeling like it was draining. Reaching into his pocket, he gripped the note from her and held it tightly. "I knoww noww. Wwhat you meant..." he thought to himself, wondering if he would ever approach her with these words in reality. "You wweren't doin any of us a favvour, ya knoww..."

Even if it was Eridan, Sollux felt disheartened by how hollow he was becoming in just a matter of minutes. It seemed, in that moment, that existence itself was melancholy... Ultimately meaningless. As he watched the highblood stagger outside, Karkat wandered up behind him, placing a hand onto his shoulder. "YOU OKAY, CAPTOR?" The words took a while to mean anything to him, so after he shook his head, he loosed a quiet, "O-oh yeah, thankth. I'm fine." Wiping the blood from the corners of his mouth, he stared off into the distance again. "He wath right for being mad at me, though. Thith ith a thick thurprithe to all of uth... And I thaid the wrong thing, for thure." A small chuckle was heard from the mutant, accompanied by, "THIS IS A NEW LOW FOR YOU, CAPTOR. YOU'RE SAYING AMPORA IS RIGHT... AND, THANKS, I WAS GONNA HAVE TO ASK WHY THE FUCK YOU WEREN'T FIGHTING THE ASSHOLE BACK." There was no smile from him, however. He only lowered his face, putting a hand on his burn-illuminated jaw. "Becauthe I detherved it."


	6. Chapter 6

_JOHNKAT WARNING! :3 holy wow, so many followers and favourites and reviews... Oh my! Ahhhhh, this story is catching up to my ever-present writer's block! Oh no! Thanks for your loyalty though, enjoy this installment~ -Mayday_

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John sat petting Nepeta's hair that continuously fell in her face, her eyes barely open, and her on the border between consciousness and much-appreciated but dangerous sleep. "Sol...?" John conveyed his thoughts to the Telekinetic troll, that Nep needed her bones to be set all the way, and they all agreed with her exhaustion the process wouldn't be as antagonising. She stirred slightly, in inexpressable worry over her matesprit...

"Don't worry, Neppy, Karkat and I will find him for you, I promise."

Wondering to himself if fish could drown, Eridan chided himself for the way he had handled the situation, or failed to. He staggered along down the footpath of the nearby forest, making his way towards a familiar and beloved lake of his. A chill would run up his spine, fresh with deadly memories, whenever he paid attention to the beautiful shades of olive the leaves had fallen... Of course it had started raining, of course... As he trudged along the path, the lake came closer in his line of sight as his eyesight began to blur from the thickening sheet of rain. Why couldn't he just go back? Why couldn't he face Sol like a civilised being, and apologise for hurting Nep much more than she already had been...? Because he never could. He had never confessed his mistakes before, never reconciled with the ones he truly loved... and that, he understood, was why he had lost so many of them. Screwing up with Feferi was bad enough, but he had even had the chance to become friends with Sollux, and he had shattered that opportunity almost immediately. Never taking accountability for the trail of damage he had left behind, he merely carried his burdens like insufferable chains, bottling up everything he wanted to say but never could. Crashing to his knees as he tripped over the dying trunk of a tree, Eridan just sat in the grass, a few mere feet from the lake. That's what it was always like, wasn't it? He was always so close to where he needed to be... No matter where he aimed, he would always sit nearby and watch life unfold, never participating to benefit the ones he loved. In turn, everyone just assumed that there was nobody he loved... When in reality he was trapped outside their acceptance by his own paranoia and self-disdain. Were there emotions running through him...? Was he feeling remorse? Guilt? He sat, brought to his knees once again by his failure to carry his own weight, and now his love's... Yet he only felt empty. Empty and in place. Out where no one could find him, not crying, not calling for help, finally not hindering the beneficiary people in life...

"This is where I should be."

Huddled together under an umbrella, John and Karkat walked in silence. They stood near the house, shining their torches in every which direction.

"Where could he have gone...?"

"I'M NOT SURE, JOHN. HE'S PROBABLY HAD THE MOST... DAMAGE... OF US ALL, CONCERNING THIS, I GUESS. I DON'T KNOW EVEN WHERE I WOULD GO IF THIS HAPPENED TO-"

John snapped to attention, turning to Karkat. His eyes were downcast, obviously embarrassed as well as pain-stricken, his own mind tormenting him.

"Karkat... If this happened to"

"YOU."

"O-oh... Listen to me," he pleaded with him, with the subject of his entire life's motivation, "Don't say that. NEVER say that. Neppy... She... Fuck, I don't even know what to say about her... But you? You torment yourself with these contingincies, thinking you're responsible for everyone you care about. But Karkat, listen. Sometimes, life is just hard... and one person, no matter how incredible they may be, can handle the burdens of the whole world. You need to lighten up on yourself," he stared right into his eyes, holding his chin up so he wouldn't avert his gaze, "Because you're not going to lose me. And I'm definitely not going to lose you." John pulled his hand, along with Karkat's shocked ruby stare and his agape mouth, with unspoken words wanting to come spilling out, closer to his own. Their lips gently fastened, barely touching... John moved with a comforting softness, he wanted to show Karkat that he meant what he said. His leadership was ruining him, and seeing him so hurt stung John to the core. Karkat hugged John close, and as they pulled apart, he whispered, "...THANKS." he stroked John's cheek quickly before turning again towards the forest near their house.

"Let's go find him... Who knows how sick and discouraged he could be by now."

Hand in hand, they started down the path.

"I-is this howw Nep felt...? Useless... Did I make her feel like this?"

His thoughts almost occurring outside of his body, he left as an empty shell of what little personality he had, Eridan pondered anew his love's pain. It felt as if each new and unoccurred thought were a sharp knife puncturing his inside, ripping him to tattered shreds. How could Nep have ever felt like that...? She was so loved... But did she realise it...? He was never the one to show her. Now that he thought about it, Equius truly used her as a plaything, casting her aside obliviously at the promise of Aradia. No wonder she couldn't bear the utter desolation life had handed her. Being thrown back into his conscious self, the shock of what his ignorance had done knocked him to the ground. He lay drenched in rain, staring at the empty blackbess of the night sky. Is there anything he could do to repair the bonds he had carelessly torn? Or was there even any point in his return...?

"Eridan! Eridan, please answer us!"

"AMPORA, WE NEED YOU!"

John shook his head as he stared forlornly down the seemingly endless pathway, worrying about the amount of rain falling.

"S-sorry, Neppy... We can't seem to find him anywhere..." he said into his phone, straining his eyes for anything that could be helpful, "No, no. It's fine. We're not coming back yet. Neppy, Nep... N-Nepeta LISTEN. We're not leaving him. Calm down, it's okay... Breathe, Nepeta. Please..." Karkat patted his shoulder sympathetically as he hung up. They stalked further down the trail, the rain pouring and sending chills through the both of them.

"HEY... ISN'T THERE A LAKE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE?"

"Karkat, that's brilliant!"

They ran together, stumbling over debris of dying plants and splashing through puddles, until they reached the lake. Calling out for the seadweller, they aimed their torches everywhere they could think to look. He had to be here somewhere, and Nepeta was worried even sicker than she should be.

Ever so slowly, the highblood's eyes closed. Eridan let everything around him slip away, welcoming the blackness with a weary heart.

That's when John saw him. He gasped at first, seeing him lying there sent the flashback of Nep's body in a crumpled heap flooding into his mind once again.

"ERIDAN!"

John ran out into the rain to his companion's side, Karkat following in close pursuit. A simple "Oh my god..." escaped his lips as he observed the sickly seadweller in front of him.

"DID HE PASS OUT...? WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE SIT OUT HERE IN THE RAIN?! HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER, NEP'S WORRIED SICK."

John nodded in affirmation and put a hand on Eridan's soaking wet neck, breathing a sigh of relief when he got a pulse. He was lying in such a way it seemed he just collapsed... Would he be okay? He looked quickly to Karkat, instructing, "I... I think he's light enough for me to carry the rest of the way home, you just keep yourself dry under the umbrella." As much as he didn't like it, when John had a plan, Karkat knew he had to stick to it... They silently worked their way back to the house, and John's worry for Eridan grew. He couldn't let Nep see him like this, she would be even more devastated... And who knows what Sollux would think. Just thank god Sollux got her fractures set back in place, John thought. He looked down at Eridan, he looking so helpless. It was disheartening, and uncomfortable. Eridan always put on a confident air, he never needed help from anyone. In this state... laboured breathing, a look of despair and worry plastered across his unconscious features... well, it really made both John and Karkat muse upon how much this must have truly jarred him. But the only thing they had to focus on was returning him to the house. They neared the door, and John grew more and more hesitant about returning him to the shattered but hopeful girl waiting inside.


	7. Chapter 7

_So so soooo sorry about the gap in updating~! I've been getting ready for finals and dealing with things from *shudders* the real world... Whatever that means. Ah well, time for a little fluff to calm efurrybody down. :33 hope you enjoy!_

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"Mmmm, thanks so much fur the tea, Pawllux! It's supurr delicious...!"

Sollux nodded his gratitude for her enjoyment, smiling toward her. He was so glad Nep was feeling, well, alive again. Despite the amount of guilty tears he had shed at her screams, the process he had set out to complete was over with. Her cracked bones were completely back where they should be, and only needed time to heal. He knew, however, that neither of them could shake the ominous feeling of waiting for Eridan to return. As a soaking wet John burst through the door holding an unconscious seadweller, Nep knew her unwanted suspicions were correct...

"Can you purring him to me, please...?"

John nodded solemnly, feeling the need to chime in with "He's okay, he uhhh, just"

"It's okay, John. I know he'll be fine, no need to comfurt me."

Looking a bit concerned, he bowed out along with the rest of them, leaving Nepeta to tend to her heart-frozen matesprit. She stared him down sadly, realising one thing and one thing only. "I did this to him." her conjecture was a painful one, but one of harsh reality. She dragged her fingertips across his wet skin, pausing only to caress his troubled countenance. She couldn't shake her apologetic and shameful feelings toward him... they contained every disdainful shred of angst she had felt when he was with Sollux, every failed attempt at even a friendship between he and her, all her remorse for sending him over the edge like this...

"Eridan...? Eridan, I know you can hear me," she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper, "and I just want to say I am so, so sorry... Just look what I've done... I mean, I figured people would be sad a little, but I'm still alive, and even still you go and try to disappear... Ampurra, if you went away, nobody would benefit! I know it seems that way to you. That's why I did what I did, but... but... I love you, Eridan... Okay? I wanted you to be happy, I pawlways did, and so... so I left you to be happy with Pawllux. I'm so sorry... Just please come back to me..."

A few minutes of screaming silence ensued, and so she laid her head on his side and wrapped her arms around him, deciding the best decision would be to dose off to sleep... Perhaps he would wake with a smile if she was there. The thing that shook her into awareness was feeling a hand slide its way up onto her arm, and a small chuckle.

"You havve no idea howw happy I am to hear your vvoice again."

Neither of them had to open their eyes to know that the other was grinning ear to ear. Eridan struggled to turn himself around in her lap, staring up at her while laughing ironically. "Wwell this is a bit backwwards, wwouldn't you say?" Responding with a subtle laugh, Nep reached down and took off his sullied glasses, wiping them on her trenchcoat, not entirely spick and span either. But it would have to do. She took one look down at him, thinking "maybe it is better this way... he's happy, I'm happy, we're alive for gog's sake... And we're together. We're finally actually together! I wonder..." She began tending to his little blemishes and wounds, wiping the rainy and muddy splotches from his face, he sitting a bit embarrassedly, but enjoying the fact that she was even moving again. Not only that, she was helping him. She was holding him, she had kept living for him... That alone was reason to defend her with everything he had, and that he would. A slight and happy purr escaped her lips as she maneuvered to care for him, and she was taken aback as he sat and swung her down to where he was... She grinned up at him now, he embracing her and smiling lovingly right back. This was really how it should be. "And nep?"

The catgirl nodded childishly, beaming at the possibilities of his remark.

"I lovve you too."

Her eyes fluttered shut as Eridan's mouth met hers. Butterflies in her stomach couldn't even possibly begin to cover the sensation flooding over her, but at the same time there was an overwhelming relief and peace... She smiled wide against his lips as they kissed, he pulling her closer gently, the excited warmth of their flushed violet and olive cheeks brushing, the way they somehow always knew they wanted to. As they pulled away, she almost leaped into his tight embrace, whispering nothing more than "I'm sorry" into his ear, he a bit shocked. Immediately, however, he pulled her close and ran his limber fingers through her matted hair. "you're here noww. you're wwith me. wwhat else could i ask for?" Nepeta pulled back to where they were face to face, her smile emanating such sincerity it took all of Eridan's willpower not to pull her back into another kiss. She merely curled up in his lap, starting her monotonously lovely purring as he pet her hair and back, selfishly hoping that she would take a while to heal if it meant more times like these. He laughed to himself lightly as the others curiously peered back into the room, smiles of their own spreading.

"Well... That ethcalated quickly."


End file.
